


It’s Not Me

by Ear_monstrosities



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: A Star is Born, Childhood Trauma, Drug Addiction, Drugs, F/F, Gangs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:20:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21757432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ear_monstrosities/pseuds/Ear_monstrosities
Summary: Beca has a troubled childhood. Her mom dies in childbirth and her dad’s MIA. What happens to her when her Nana, the one whose taken care of her for her whole life dies from cancer?......
Relationships: Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell, Stacie Conrad/Beca Mitchell
Comments: 5
Kudos: 28





	1. Too Far Gone

Beca Mitchell was a troubled kid. 

Her mom had died giving birth to her, her dad was an alcoholic who went out all day and almost never came home. Her grandmother took care of her until Beca was 10. She never had the chance to day goodbye to her Nana. Her grandma had been fighting cancer for three years before it took her life, trying to teach Beca as much as she could. About cooking, doing the laundry, all the skills she needed to know to survive without her. 

Her Nana told her to stay in school, learn lots of things and to not become her father, the alcoholic he was. 

And Beca had promised her she would. 

But then her Nana died. 

It was all so sudden that Beca couldn’t even understand what was happening. And it was after the funeral that she realized what was going on. 

But she went to school. She graduated elementary school and started middle school. That’s where it all started going downhill. All the kids would call her names, made fun of her because of her family, but Beca didn’t care.She did but she just never fully let it get to her. 

She was okay for a while, taking care of herself and making sure she was alright. Her Nana had left her enough money to take care of herself when she herself couldn’t anymore.

She’d walk back home from her school each day and walk past the park that her and her Nana used to take walks to. Beca would spend hours and hours on the swing set while her Nana watched her from the bench. 

Now, there were no kids at the park, and it became a meeting area for the gangs and there were lots of drug dealing and smoking going on. 

* * *

She walked past it like any other day, when a young brunette girl, taller than her, approached her. 

“Hey.” She says to her. Beca can smell that she’s been smoking. It’s that familiar cigarette smell.

“Hi. “ Beca stops and says to her. 

“You always walk past here. Don’t you?”

“Yeah. I mean, I’m walking back to my house from school, so I guess. “Beca replies. 

“You wanna hang out? You seem lonely. You never walk home with anyone else. We have all kinds of fun stuff here. No one leaves no one behind here, and were just like family.” She smiles as she points to the group hanging out around the bench. 

“Sure. I don’t really have anything to do anyways. “ Beca shrugs as she walks into the park.

“Oh. I’m Stacie by the way. You?” She asks as she leads the shorter brunette to the group. 

“I’m Beca. “ She simply states as she follows. 

“Hey guys. This is Beca. She’s the girl who walks by the park everyday.” Stacie laughs as she sits down next to one of the guys in the group. They all seem to have the same treble clef tattoo on their skin. 

“I’m Jax.”

“Cynthia Rose.”

“I’m Adrienne.”

“Kyler.”

“Im Lyon.”

“Joanna.”

“Jessica.”

“I’m Ashley.”

“I’m Fat Amy.”

“Hi Beca. I’m Daya.”

“I’m Flo.”

“Cole.”

“And the one who’s quiet is Lily.”

“We’re the Trebles.” Daya says to the brunette as she points to her tattoo. 

They go around introducing themselves.

“You wanna try Beca?”Stacie offers.

Beca nods and Stacie hands over the already-lit blunt. She takes in a puff and then coughs. The whole group laughs as Beca continues to cough. 

“God. You okay little one?” Cynthia Rose asks.

“Yep I think I’m good.” She comes back from her coughing fit and takes in another puff of air. 

“Now thats it girl. “ Jax chuckles as he lays back on the bench.

* * *

It starts out like this. Just a bit of weed.

Then, some alcohol. 

And then, it becomes some oxy, some crack, some coke. 

Beca doesn’t care. It’s fun. She doesn’t go to school anymore, and she’s in a group now. They accept her for who she is. She uses her Nana’s money for the drugs and the alcohol. 

She’s 15 years old at this point. 

She gets a tattoo ofa treble clef a few weeks later. 

One of the members friends gave her the tattoo. She thinks its pretty cool, now shes finally family with these people. 

They usually spend the day at the park, and then go to the streets at night and go to parties. They usually spend the night somewhere and then get back to the park by noon. 

* * *

One night, the gang’s at a party when the police come in to the scene.

Stacie and Beca are luckily out to get some more food at the store with Daya and they don’t get caught. Luckily, Lily texts them as they are about to drive back. She’s not caught, so the three go and pick her up before going to a Motel nearby to spend the rest of the night. 

Turns out, the boys are charged with Drug charges, fraud, and theft. The girls get sent to other correctional facilities and some girls go to the correctional facilities for minors. 

The four part ways, Lily running off before the next morning, Daya going off to Florida where her cousins are. But Beca has nowhere to go. So Stacie takes her along, off to places she didn’t know even existed. Stacie knows the streets pretty well, and she makes sure Beca’s safe. 

* * *

That’s until Stacie dies from an heroin overdose. Beca’s devastated, has no one to rely on, who knows what her father’s doing, and so she takes her leftover money and takes a greyhound to New York. She doesn’t know why, but she just does. 

* * *

She wants to start fresh, and somewhere where no one knows who she is. 

She starts bartending at a club at just 17 years old. 

She sleeps on one of her co-workers apartment couches until she can buy an used car with her hard-earned money. 

The creepy guys, and sometimes girls, try to touch her, try to take her home, and sometimes she lets them, its not like she has anything to lose. She just needs enough money to eat, and get drugs. She has free access to the alcohol and some people will buy drinks for her sometimes.

She’s always loved the music and when she has enough money to get a laptop, she starts mixing. She works through the night at the bar and then goes to her car o sleep after the night ends, wakes up mid morning, mixes, may be goes out to get some drugs, maybe take a shower at one of her “friends” house, get ready for work once again and then repeats the day again the next day. 

One night she’s put in charge of the booth on a particularly slow night. So she hooks her laptop up to the machines and starts playing the music. Most of the people are drunk there but they like the music and the night ends pretty well. Her boss is pretty happy about it and offers her a DJ gig every week on Thursdays. 

It becomes pretty popular, and more people start coming into the club on Thursdays. Beca’s pretty proud of herself, and her checks increase as she’s asked to be in the booth more. What they don’t know is that the more Beca gets her money, the more she uses. 

* * *

She meets Chloe on a Wednesday. She’s bartending that night when the gorgeous ginger comes into the bar. She sits at the counter in front of Beca. 

“What would you like to drink tonight?”Beca asks in a casual way.

“Rum and coke please.” She says as she plays with the paper coaster. 

“So, what beings you here?” She asks her as she prepares her drink. 

“I got stood up. I had a date and I was waiting for an hour at the appointed place until I figured they wouldn’t ever get there.Calls were ignored, texts were left on read....”

“Oh the typical asshole huh? He must be an idiot to stand such a gorgeous girl up on a date. Drinks on me.” Beca smirks as she places the rum and coke on the coaster.

“Thank you.”The girl smiles at the brunettes words and takes a sip. 

The smile kills her. 

Almost kills her. 

She’s so pretty and it doesn’t take long for Beca to fall for her. 

She learns that the ginger’s name is Chloe and shes 22. Beca can barely focus on the other customers since shes so head-over-heels for her. It’s so not Beca. She doesn’t have crushes, she just has flings and sex. She tries to brush it off but she can’t. 

* * *

“So, since I’ve told you about me, tell me a bit about yourself?”Chloe asks as she finishes up her third drink, a vodka cranberry. 

Beca stops for a second, what is she supposed to do? Tell her her real story, or tell her a nice clean story. 

“I’m Beca. Well, I’m a bartender here, I also DJ a few nights a week. There’s not much to know about me.”She brushes it off with the generic, you-may-already-know-these-things answer. 

“What about family?” She asks innocently, of corse Beca doesn’t expect Chloe to know how touchy of a subject it is. 

“Uh... I’m an only child, my mom died having me, my dad is off somewhere who-knows-where, and my Nana took care of me, raised me, taught me all the things I needed to know. “ She answers, finding herself spilling more than she expected she would. 

“Oh I’m sorry about that.....” Chloe sighs.

“No its okay. You want another drink?” She asks the ginger pointing to her empty glass. 

“Malibu coke?” She says like a question and Beca nods, and goes to get the ingredients to make the drink. 

* * *

The bar is almost empty, the clock showing that its almost 2 in the morning. 

No one is at the counter anymore, and there are only few groups at the tables. 

“Hey. Do you want me to call you a taxi?”Beca asks the ginger as she finishes her fifth drink. 

“Uhh.. you can come home with me....” She mumbles as she looks into Beca’s eyes with her baby blues. 

“I can’t do that sweetie.” Beca says to her softly, as she gives her a glass of water. 

“Yeah you cannnnn.”

“I’m not the person you want to take home Chloe. You do not want to take me home.” Beca says to her as she puts away a cleaned glass. 

“Just come over? I have some beer and some movies and we can cuddle or something...?” She says to her with her puppy dog eyes, and Beca can’t say no anymore. She quickly finishes up cleaning the glasses, and tells her co-workers that she needs to take a girl home safely, and gets off early. 

* * *

“Here’s my apartmenttt.” She says as she opens the door to a simple but nice apartment and lets Beca in. 

Beca had taken the taxi back to her apartment with her, and she was planning to leave after she made sure the ginger as asleep in her own bed and not in anyguy or girls bed. 

“Let’s go to bed Becaaa.” She says slipping her shoes off and now trying to unzip her dress. 

“Can you help me?” She asks turning her back to the ginger. 

Beca pauses for a second and then unzips her dress. ‘I just need to get her to bed. That’s my job. Nothing else.’ She reminds herself as she helps the ginger get out of her dress. 

“Thanks.” Chloe says stripping and now standing in front of Beca, topless and in her lace black thong. 

“Oh my god. Chloe!” She says looking to the other side when the ginger strips almost naked. 

“Please go put on a shirt.” She says to the ginger.

“Oh I’m pretty confident about all this. “ she smiles as she makes her way down the hall to what beca thinks is her bedroom. 

“You... you should be...” She mutters under her breath as she follows her. She should be out of the apartment by now. She knows the ginger is safely in her house but she follows her to the bedroom. 

The ginger slips under the covers and looks at Beca. 

“You coming in?” She pats the space next to her.She looks at Beca with her baby blue eyes, looking at her like shed just burst into tears if she didn’t. 

“One second. “Beca says and runs back to the entrance, locks the door, deadbolts it and rushes back. 

“Where did you go?” 

“I went to go lock the door. “She says taking off her shoes, jacket, her jeans and gets into bed in her tee shirt, and underwear. 

“C’mere.” Chloe says, and wraps her arms around her. 

And for the first time in a long time, Beca falls asleep peacefully. 

* * *

Please don't tell me I'm too far gone

I can't go on if I ain't living in your arms

Please don't tell me I'm too far gone

I can't go on if I ain't living in your arms

Please don't tell me I'm too far gone

Set me free, oh, oh

Set me free, yeah

Set me free, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh


	2. Is That Alright?

Beca wakes up the next morning, in Chloe’s arms. She tries to quietly and gently get out of the redhead’s embrace and leave with out getting noticed.

But when she lifts the ginger’s right arm and tries to get out of bed, the ginger moves, waking up, and trying to wrap her arms around Beca again.

“Mhmm.... please stay... Please?....”She mutters as she takes Beca back into her embrace.

“No. I gotta go Chloe...” Beca says as she lays back down.

“I know....”She mutters, nuzzling into her neck and plants kisses there.

It feels like home.

She doesn’t know Chloe that well, but it almost feels like she’s spent every single morning with her since she could remember.

She falls back asleep, letting Chloe stroke her hand as she falls asleep again.

* * *

Beca wakes up again, this time, it’s Chloe getting out of bed.

She sleepily rubs her eyes and sits up.

“Chlo...?” She mumbles as she sits up on her bed.

“Morning Beca.” She says as she smiles and puts a big hoodie on.

“I... I’m sorry.... I was going to leave....” Beca mutters as she gets up, picks up her pants and shoes from the floor and starts dressing.

“No. I asked you to stay. So, you want to take a shower? Or have some breakfast?”

“Uhh..... no it’s okay. I can leave. “She says to her as she grabs her bag from the corner of her room and tries to leave.

“No. Stay. C’mon. I’ll make you breakfast, you can take a shower. You can take any of my clothes. There a towel in the bathroom cabinet.” Chloe says to her and Beca can do nothing but obey.

She goes to the bathroom with her bag and she strips, taking off her clothes and stepping into the shower. She lets the hot water cascade down her body, and quickly washes up and gets out of the shower. And somehow, Chloe has laid out a pair of panties, a bra, a tee shirt, sweatpants, and a fresh towel on the closed toilet seat.

Beca smiles, dries her body and gets dressed into Chloe’s clothes.

It smells like Chloe. It’s strange because Chloe was basically naked while she slept cuddling her last night.

* * *

She then feels her headache getting a bit stronger. Her drugs are running out. She shuffles into her bag and grabs her bag and snorts some of it, making sure there isn’t any leftover powder on Chloe’s bathroom sink.

She feels a bit better, she make sure he puts all her stuff in her bag and then gets out of the bathroom.

She pads down the hall to the kitchen and she starts smelling the pancakes.

“Thank you.” She says as she walks into the kitchen with her hair still wet and in a bun.

“No problem.” She smiles as she places a pancake on one of the plate. “I just finished making pancakes and the coffees over there.” She says taking two mugs from the cabinet and handing them to Beca.

“Okay. “ Beca replies as she takes the mugs and pours some coffee into the two mugs.

“The Coffee-Mate’s in the fridge.” She says as she places the plates of pancakes on the dining table next to the kitchen.

“Mkay.” Beca takes the coffee to the table and then goes to the fridge to get the creamer.

They both sit down at the table and start eating.

Chloe pours some of the Coffee-Mate into her coffee.

“You like black? Noted.” The ginger says as she takes a sip. And Beca eats her pancake.

It’s not like she’d come back here again. Or probably even get a chance to see Chloe again.

“So I know you bartend but what else do you do?”Chloe asks from curiosity.

“Um... I DJ a bit. Not that much. Just a few nights a month. Nothing else.” Beca says to her trying to keep her information as low as possible.

“Oh yeah. I think you said it last night.”Chloe says as she takes a bite of her pancake.

“What do you do?” Beca finds herself asking.

“Oh yeah. I forgot to tell you last night. I’m a teacher. A music teacher at Léman Manhattan Preparatory School. It’s a private arts school and it’s pretty fun. I like kids, and music so it pretty much worked out for me.”

Their worlds were too different.

A drug-addict bartender/DJ and a music teacher at a private school.

She was totally out of her league.

* * *

She quickly finishes her coffee, her pancakes and gets up.

“I.... I gotta go... I-I have work.” She says as she goes to Chloe’s room and grabs her bag. Grabs her stuff, stuffing them violently into her bag.

“Beca? Beca, whats wrong?” Chloe asks not knowing what’s changed the girl’s mind.

“I-I’m sorry. I have to go....” She says as she unlocks the door and runs out.

And she doesn’t look back.

“B-Beca?” Chloe calls after her, running after her and managing to grab the brunette by the arm when she’s about to take the stairs.

“Chloe. Please.. Just let go of me. Please...” Beca says to her with her tear filled eyes.

“Why do you have to leave? Did I do something wrong? Please tell me Beca.”The ginger asks her.

“No. It’s just...... “

“Just what Becs?” Chloe asks gently, the grasp on her arm getting a bit more lighter. Not like I’m gonna rip your arm off grasp.

“Just that.... I’m.... I’m falling for you....... but...You deserve so much better. I’m not anyone you want to be with. Let’s just both do ourselves a favor and let me go. I promise you. It’s for the best. I swear to god Chloe.... I swear to god.... you don’t want to know me.... So please let me go... Please?....” Beca grits her teeth and holds in the tears that are trying to escape.

“I’m falling for you too.... Beca. And I want to know you. I wont judge you for anything.” She says to her as she looks into her eyes.

“No. You really don’t. I promise. “ She slips away from her grasp and runs away.

And Chloe can only watch her.

She wants to so bad.

But her body won’t move.

* * *

Beca runs away, goes back to her car and lets her tears flood down her cheeks.

She drives to a Walmart parking lot and she lets her tears dry there. She takes some cocaine and cries herself to sleep.

She wakes up a few hours later and goes to her usual neighborhood where she gets her ‘stuff’.

She stays at the house of one of her dealer’s house, and letting herself get high to forget the things that had happened.

* * *

She wakes up the next morning, down from her high, and she gets some more ‘stuff’ before she leaves the place to get ready for work.

She has some food, and changes, getting ready for her shift tonight.

* * *

It’s 7pm and she gets to her workplace, still high, but a ‘manageable‘ high.

Her shift starts pretty slow, and then the night goes by and shes take home by some guy. He tips her and also gives her some money when she leaves his apartment in the morning.

She makes some mixes and then gets high again, a few hours before her shift as the DJ of the night starts.

* * *

She finishes her gig that night and goes to the bar to get a drink.

And there she is.

Chloe.

Sitting at the counter, looking right at her.

Beca gets a shot and drowns it, now getting herself another.

Working at the bar has its perks, she can have drinks whenever and whatever she wants.

She drinks a bit more, and ignores the existence of the ginger thats looking at her.

At the end of the night, she’s drunk.

Like drunker than she’s ever been in a long time.

* * *

She doesn’t stop herself from kissing the ginger that comes to help her when she tries to leave the bar.

Chloe takes Beca home, pressing her against the closed door when she gets to the apartment.

Beca’s mind goes on autopilot, and she takes the ginger to her room, and shes her down on the bed.

She pulls up the gingers skirt and she slides her lace thong to the side as she places her mouth on Chloe’s sex, and lets her tongue roam free.

She can hear Chloe whimper under her, making the sounds that make Beca’s mind crazy.

“Go...d... Bec..... please.... right there..... Fuck....” Her words are butchered up form pleasure. Her nails are raking into her back, and she can tell that Chloe’s so close to her climax.

Beca lets her free hand roam up the ginger’s shirt, pushing her bra up, and toying with her erect peak.

“Fuck....” Chloe moans as she lets go, letting the bedroom fill up with the explicit sounds that release from her mouth.

Beca laps up her wetness, helping her come down from her high.

And then the next second, she finds herself flipped and under the ginger.

Chloe’s hand in pulling down her pant zippers and then under the waistband of her panties.

The heat pools low in her stomach, and she finds herself moaning desperately for the gingers touch.

“God.... is this what I do to you?....” Chloe purrs into her ear and grazes her teeth in a way that makes Beca shiver.

“Ho-ly fuck......” Beca squeaks as her talented fingers flick her clit and she gets closer and closer.

“You want me inside?...” Chloe says in as seducing tone, and she kisses her way down Chloe’s neck.

“Y-yes. Please.... I want you.... so.. bad..”The brunette begs under the ginger.

Chloe’s nimble fingers enter the brunette and it doesn’t take long until the brunette becomes undone and the room once again fills with causes and cries of pleasure.

“I love you Beca.” Chloe kisses Beca before Beca fall asleep, cuddled by Chloe.

* * *

“Stay. Please stay.” Chloe says the next morning when Beca wakes up.

The ginger has been awake for the past half-an-hour, not wanting the brunette to wake up and leave her, like a one night stand.

Beca can’t say no.

She just can’t bring herself to do that.

“I’m an addict. I’m a drug addict.” Beca says out of the blue.

“I’m 18, I have no family, my mom and Nana are dead, and my dads out of the picture since I was born, I had my gang and I thought it was my family. I-I thought wed be together forever, but they’re either in prison, dead, or on the run.Stacie was like my sister, but she ODd on heroin and now she’s dead, so I have no one. I’m broken and messed up.”She opens up to the ginger.

“That’s why you can’t be with me. I’m an addict, and I’ll be a burden to you. I also have no home. I live in my car, and use the money I could use on rent to buy drugs. That’s why...... T-That’s why I can’t fall in love with you..... thats why y-you and I can never be together...”Beca feels her tears fall down her cheeks.

She’s expecting a slap, a yell for her to get out of her apartment.

But the next thing that happens is so unexpected for Beca.

Chloe’s warm strong arms are wrapped around Beca, and she can hear the ginger sniffling.

“I can help you..... Beca. I’ll be here for you. Okay?” She says to her as she plants a gentle kiss on her head.

“I’ll help you.... I don’t think you’re messed up. And I can get you the help you need Beca.”

“I want you. So so bad. And I think you want me too. I’ll always be here for you. I’ll never ever give up on you. I want you to be right next to me, look at me the way you do,”She looks into Beca’s eyes with so much love.

“I want to love you.”

Beca can feel her tears streaming down her cheeks, hands clinging onto the ginger’s arms.

“Is that alright?”

And Beca doesn’t even need to answer.

* * *

Life is so simple

A little boy, a little girl

Laughing and loving

Tryin' to figure out the world

It felt like summer

When I kissed you in the rain

And I know your story

But tell me again

Nothing you say wouldn't interest me

All of your words are like poems to me

I would be honored if you would take me as I am

I want you

To look right in my eyes

To tell me you love me

To be by my side

I want you

At the end of my life

I wanna see your face when I fall with grace

At the moment I die

Is that alright?

Is that alright?

I hope you're still with me

When I'm not quite myself

And I pray that you'll lift me

When you know I need help

It's a warm celebration

Of all of our years

I dream of our story

Of our fairy-tale

Family dinners and family trees

Teachin' the kids to say, "Thank you," and, "Please"

Knowin' if we stay together that things will be right

I want you

To look right in my eyes

To tell me you love me

To be by my side

I want you

At the end of my life

Wanna see your face when I fall with grace

At the moment I die

Is that alright?

Is that alright?

Is that alright?


End file.
